“Part Of Your World”

You Get What You Pay For…

We’ve all heard the expression before… you get what you pay for, but man… these days it seems a little harder to tell a good deal from a dud.

Needless to say… a couple years back I was “gotten”, and although I was incensed at the time by the seller’s gaslighting and deception, I had quite the “ah-ha” moment.

You Get What You Pay For

So I love fancy robes and had stumbled across the most gorgeous pink robe with beautiful feathers along the trim. It was one of those robes you’d picture a beautiful young starlet wearing as she descended a large marble staircase to speak to waiting police officers about the sudden and mysterious death of her husband. I HAD TO HAVE IT.

As one would expect though, luxury ain’t cheap and this little number was way out of my budget. Which is why when I saw it elsewhere for 1/10th the price, I despite my reservations, made the purchase. And when it arrived almost two full months later from China, my suspicions were confirmed: I had been scammed.

The worst part was the claims process. What was sent to me was not the robe pictured on their site that looked like a million bucks (they obviously stole the pictures from the real seller), but a cheap, and holy shit do I mean CHEAP knockoff, which looked like a middle school sewing project made with $5 in materials.

I had to send pictures of what I wanted vs what was sent and these scammers had the audacity to tell me over and over that the two pictures were the same. To anyone with a pair, scratch that, to anyone with at least one working eye, it was obvious they were not.

Eventually, after much back and forth (it was the principle at this point), I got my money back and went on with my life. Kinda…

During the robe debacle my daughter had been watching The Little Mermaid. I LOVED The Little Mermaid. That was my jam. I even remember in high school dying my hair bright red so I could look just like Ariel and I have to say, when I was done I was almost the perfect dead ringer for…. Ronald McDonald, which is actually a whole other story but my point here is that I loved The Little Mermaid. So when all this robe drama was going down and my daughter was watching the movie and it came to the part where Ariel wants her legs so bad she decides to trade her voice to the Sea Witch… I had a moment.

What if Ariel had been like me… there was no way she was paying such a hefty price, especially in this day and age when she could bargain shop. I pictured Ariel heading to an Ocean Wench because everyone knew Sea Witches were pricey and Ocean Wenches were not and lucky for her she found a wench that was happy to give her a set of legs in exchange for a couple-a-old shell tops. Deal.

Ariel Could See Where This Was Going

Ariel was so pissed in fact that she tried to have the whole exchange reversed but the cunning wench was not having it and so a mediator got involved. The Ocean Wench got to speak first. She told the mediator that Ariel had wanted legs in exchange for some shell tops and that she had done just that. The mediator who had avoided Ariel’s gaze as soon as he walked in, he was disgusted by her appearance, listened intently to the wench who looked stunning in one of Ariel’s sexy purple shell tops. She made her case, batting her long lashes and smiling innocently at the mediator. And when he questioned the wench, asking if she thought she had acted on good faith the wench pointed out that she had given Ariel, “one hell of a set of sexy legs.” As if on cue the mediator’s eyes drifted to Ariel’s long lusty legs, stopping short of where they met her body and shit got weird. He took a deep breath and shook his head as if to acknowledge that yes indeed: this chick had indeed gotten one hell of a nice looking set of gams.

Ariel could see where this was going and she didn’t like it one bit. But when it was her turn to speak the only thing she could manage was a “GLUB, GLUB, GLUB.” And with that, she knew she was fucked.

Although I rarely revisit ideas or characters in my work, “Part Of Your World” is my second time playing around with my reverse Ariel. She’s got a story and I don’t think she’s quite done telling it yet…

“Part Of Your World” Available. “Wish.com Granted” Private Collection. The inspiration….

Have you ever gotten a terrible “deal”? I‘d love to hear about it… who knows, it may even be art worthy lol… leave a comment below.